There's so much i don't understand. There's so much i don't want to understand. Why are all these happening? I don't get it. If you people hate each other, why pretend? If you can be so holy and goody goody during CF or GB or just church, why not be the same other times? If you don't like what i have to say, why pretend that you do? If you want to USE me, tell me straight to the face instead of making excuses all the time.
H Y P O C R I T E S.
I don't understand how people can be so hypocritical. And you call yourself a christian... Please. Hold on a second. I'm not saying i'm perfect. I'm not. Not even close. I feel like a hypocrite too at times. at least i admit it.

How many times have i prayed the same prayer?? Asking God what's REALLY happening? I just don't get it. Why? Why? Why? Where have all the passion gone? Why is it only restricted between these four walls? Once people step out of this place, they are totally different people. What happened to the church without walls?

Oh Father. I've not been a good christian. I watched my friends backslide. I don't know what else i can do other than pray and pray and pray. I can't do this without You. I'm torn... I don't want to be just the spectator anymore. But I don't know how. Show me..