Change..

This is gonna be a little weird. So here goes.
Haha. Now lagi weird.

Well. Talked to Sam earlier today. And yeah. He wanted to go out to hang with joel tomorrow. But after talking, we decided to go out on sunday after service[so, we 're not going to harvest time. haih. ]Talked about many stuff. Many happenings that i obviously wasnt aware of. [Duh i've been missing in action for so long]and i came to the conclusion that people change. And things aren't always what they seem.

How i wish things would be like what it used to be. That's just wistful thinking. If only life was simpler. It isn't. That's the beauty of it all. Agreed? The wrongs in life make the rights sooo much better. It's amazing how drastic that change can be. I can't believe it myself. But. As i look at it carefully, i realize that it was always like this. I've only been too blind to see. Maybe i didn't want to admit it. *shrugs*

All this 'people change' thing makes me wonder. Have I changed?? Am i worse?? I seriously hope not. Hmm maybe change is good. Hahaha. Well, it is. In some ways. Haha. I guess i'm more outspoken now???? Alright, i'm a little TOO loud. I admit it. =D

No matter what happens. I'm always here.

Me. Out.

Hehe? please

Okay. You know those moments where you can't help but roll your eyes? Well well well. I had those moments one too many times. Some people can be so hmm i don't know how to put it. Let's just say they're not very likable. =]

And and anddddd i just found out, I'M NOT ALONE!! Haha. I mean, i'm not the only one who really really really appreciates Peace cell membersss. You guys rock you know that?? [i can hear some people saying,"Yes i know." Lol.] I don't have a proper picture of you guys la. All the pics are nonsense. [Especially the gay pics of adrian, daren and sam xD] I hope the plan to go out next week works.

Alright. Now i'm REALLY out.

surprise...

I'm angry. Furious. Boiling mad. How could she do this to us???? Who does she think she is?? It's obvious she only cares about THOSE people. We, on the other hand, are left to rot. I look forward to it EVERY YEAR. And she just, ARGH. How could she?? There's no reason whatsoever for her to do it. I've tried understanding. Tried seeing things from YOUR point of view. I still don't get it. What are you thinking? You know what, i feel like just not caring. But i know i won't. Haih. I'm gonna do something. Take my word for it.

Ugh.
I'm out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!

Michelle's birthday partayy!

Okay. I better blog about this before it becomes old news. Haha. It's still pretty hot right now. xD Here goes. Met up with michelle, Sim and Jaymee at the kopitiam at about 1. So, yeah, we went walking around til about 3. Then, we watched.....NARNIA:PRINCE CASPIAN. woooo! Haha. Yes, we found another guy to go GA-GA over. Haha. Too bad we didn't get to take pic with King Peter. xD Call us crazy if you must. One lesson i learnt, TGV is waaaaaay better than GSC. Gosh. The popcorn at GSC is smaller and more expensive. The sound system is not that good. And that incident where i kicked someone's foot and it wasn't sim's[i was sitting at the side]kinda freaked me out. Ahah.

After walking around for a few hours, we bought the cake and headed to MP. Where the partay would be. Started eating. And eating. And eating. AND eating. HAHA. Wanted to make it worth the cash we paid mar. After dinner[alright so, DURING dinner as well]we took many pictures. HAHA. The people there probably thought we were nutsss.

Vivian kinda dared us to finish the spicy spicy bowl of tomyam and WE DID IT!! I loved the tomyam!! Haha.

In the toilet. HEHE. Don't have to know what we were doing. Okay, the pics are not in order la. So, bear with it. Haha. We pindah-ed table[like nomads]. Acting emo. Haha. Was pretty tired at that time.
ME: I also want cakeeeee. =(

Pose pose poseeee. Lol.

From the top[L to R]: Evon, Sarafong, Vivian, Huini, Jaymee, Michelle, Sim, ME, Monteiro.

In the toilettt. The toilet is AIRCONDITIONED. Gosh. Better than my room man. HAHA.

Lol. I find this very interesting. Do they even CHECK if we waste food? What more, weigh the wastage??
I can seee the light!!xD

Lol. This is proof that we're crazy. That's me and evon on the floor. Haha.

ME: May i present to you....THE GENTS!!

Michelle and sim:Ooooooooolala.

Eh wait. Whose birthday was it again? Haha.
Modelssss. Lol. MP's gonna be darn famous thanks to us. Hehe.
Oh yeah. Coldstorage. Right right. We went shopping there. Look at these sakkais. HAHA. People were staring. I wonder if the trolley can still move properly.

Alrighty. Last pic. I have more. But nahh. Too many la. Hmm. What were we pointing at?? LOL. Nonsense wehh.

Hahhh. It was so fun. I had a really great time. We should do it again sometime soon. HAHA.

Just for the record, I DON'T CAMWHORE. this is the first time. =]

Restless

I'm restless. Too lazy to blog about yesterday. Too many details and picturesss. Let's just say, yesterday was amazing. =D Had loads of fun. We were sakkai-ish the entire day. From lunch til after dinner. Haha.

I want something to dooooo!!! ARGH. So darn restless la. I wanna walk and run and jump and scream and scribble. Grrrr. I wanna get out of hereeeee!!!!

iwannadosomething.pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.
Ahhimsickofbeggingitsuselesscosiwontgetanysympathyfromyoucosyouarebeingheartless.
Imjustgonnastayhereandrotandrotandrottilsomeonefinallymissesmeandnoticesimgone.

I'm out.

The difference

Okay. I'm feeling much much better today compared to last night. Haha. I just feel like smiling and smiling. =DD No idea why. I'm gonna take jess' advice and not get too obsessed over it. And we'll see how that works for me. Haha.

Today's the day!! I'm excited!! Finally get to go for a movie and shopppppp! Wheee! This whole hols there's only ONE thing i really wanna do.

CATCH UP WITH PEOPLE!!!!

Haha. I miss all the people out there. Lol. Can't go out much, but technology is soo modern now. I gotta be creative. xD Mummy's birthday is coming!! Haven't gotten her anything. Haih. Dunno what to get her la. Maybe i'll just belanja her makan or something. See how.

Have been downloading songs a lot. Hehe. Yesterday. AH. Haha. Church was fine. Too bad didn't have more time to talk. Heard some unbelievable news. I dunno la. She does have a boyfriend. It's just not THAT guy. Aish. Today's the YACF camp. It seems the response not really good wor. Only about 60 people going. They kinda expected/targeted 120. So, ahaha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLEEEEE!! She's one of the VERY few people whom i've known since form1 and still hang out with now. So, yeah. xD

I'm not smiling, are you?

Argh. The old familiar feeling is back. It's been so long since i felt this way. Don't like it. I think it all started yesterday. But what can i do? I keep pushing it away. Keep telling myself it's nothing, it's never nothing. Talk? HAH. Who would listen? I'm glad it's the holidays. I won't feel that terrible.

On a brighter note, michelle's birthday tomorrow!! Not really THAT excited about the dinner. It's the lepak time i'm looking forward to. We're watching a movie[or two]then shop for michelle's clothes. =.=" It's not like i mind. Shopping with them is fun. AHAHA. Laughing at the ridiculous things people wear and sell. The way they behave. There was even once, when SOME CRAZY PEOPLE started stalking someone. LOL. Good times good times. After shopping, michelle's dad would take us to get the cake [YUM]and then send us to MPrestaurant.

Okay. I'm off to do ..... stuff.

Hmm. It's been a long time since i fought with my bro. We used to do it everyday. Or almost everyday. Haha.

Anyway, i'm gonna blog about positive positive stuff. xD Forgive me for being nutso, i think all this drama has finally affected me, mentally. Blahhh.

Holidays have started. Yippee?? Dunno la. Was soo excited but now, the excitement died down. Never mind never mind. After this weekend, i have a feeling i would actually enjoy the hols. HAHA. My bro did something very cool to the computer. The desktop is sooo nice now!! When he first showed me, i was like,"Okay, so the cursor is black. WOW." Then he showed me the rest, SOOO COOOLLLL! I dunno how to describe it here but it's very nice. Haha. Me likey.

Went to wesley this morning. Haih. No comments.

Going to church after lunch. In my GB uniform. *noooooo!!* Cos right after church, have to go to wesley again. For the real thing.

Alright. That's it.

Hmm. That sums everything up. Don't you think? feeling empty.

I'm worried about someone. Very worried. Ahhh.

So. Now i'm very 'fan'. Why? This is gonna sound dumb, but... i'm fan because other people are fan and they tell me their fan-ness til i'm also very fan. Get it? Lol.

Birthday birthday birthday!

Weeell. Today's the 21st. Haha. Here goes.

16years ago, the two of you were borned on the SAME day in the SAME hospital. xD The only differences, one's a guy the other's a gal. One's born in the morning, the other evening. We LOVE teasing you guys. hehe. Yes yes we often say that our 3 families can marry each other. Haha. Yeah. There's enough to go around. Our 3 families were like one big happy[okay maybe not happy all the time]family. Yeah, i had 7older people bullying me. But i bullied you guys too right?? Haha. We were friends since we were in diapers. Growing up together, all the laughter, the pain[physical!], the bullying, the secrets and all that nonsense. It was fun no? So today, i just wanna say this one thing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALLYSON CHONG YEN YEE!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DANIEL CHIAM TERK YI!!

Hehe.

*sniff sniff*

I'm happy. =D

Anyway. Penang. Ahh. Haha. It was as expected la. Boring. The TV was on, like, 24/7. Ate a loooottt!! Had lunch at 4pm yesterday, on the way back from penang. Crazy huh? All adults la duh. I was stuck in the room the whole weekend.

I can't believe it. You know those cases where you just can't say no? Or rather you CAN say it, you just feel like you HAVE to say yes? Well, i just went through that but i said no. And i'm feeling AWFUL. Haha. I received an sms at 4.46am. AM!! Who sends an sms with such important things early early in the morning?!!! Man!! Somemore, that fella is willing to subsidise rm50 for me to go to the camp. So, either someone's paying fifty bucks for me or the society's willing to spare me the cash. Aiyo!! I HAD to say no to the camp. I just had to.

Hmm. One more day of mid year. My nose is tired from running. Lol. Vivian and khaiwern were sick last week, now it's my turn to sniff sniff and sneeze and all that. Great. Haih. Oh well. Hahaha. I'm bringing milk to school again tomorrow. xD

I'm gonna miss youth again this week. ARGH. One month ad!!! This time it's cos of the dedication service at wesley. Haish! I'll go to church at 2pm for worship practice and then rush home at 4plus to change, bathe and rush rush rush to wesley. I'm gonna spend my holidays SLEEPING. I've had enough of busy lifestyles.

The Pongs

Haha. Stole this from Kim's blog. Like it? Well, our 'family'. The Pongs. Don't ask how it all started. It just did.

Itu cara uh huh uh huh

ku suka uh huh uh huh....

=D

Concentrated focus.

Geez. I have to constantly remind myself that exams aren't over. Not yet. 5more papers next week. Science[1 and 2], Bm1, Math1 and KH. It feels like exams are all over. Not good. That's why i'm bringing nothing but BOOKS to penang. HAHA. As if THAT will help. Never mind. We'll see what happens.

Kimber, SHE[the one whose name i don't know]actually smsed me. SHEESH. Asking about the bully thing. Cacat fella. =.= Man, we're pathetic la. My 5HERs. YOUR don't know how many HERs. Haha. You und la right???

Oh. Drama. You can bet there's gonna be a drama soon. Haih. She was so emotional. At least i didn't feel so awkward when she started crying in front of me. Kinda close to her what. Unlike the other day, when someone started crying and i was the only one talking to her. I thought,"Shooot." Haha. It was soooo mengkekokfying. Hehe. Then for the rest of the day, her friends came to me and asked,"What happened? Why's she so sad?" Haha. What la. Friends should go ask her personally. Well, that's what i think anyway. hmm.

I'm off to pack for penang.

I'm not gonna let the matters of MY heart slip out. It's for me to know, and for you never to find out.

Trust, believe, faith.

Well well well. Today is such a long day. Haih. It feels like it's 4 or 5, but it's only 2plus. Long betul. Especially in school today. Didn't do much[didn't do anything productive actually]in school. Except talk. And .... others. Haha. Don't ask. Long story la.

Anyway. Some random person came up to me today, and asked what exams we[form3s]are taking today. So i just told her, PJK. Haha. So, that's that. Then after a while, she came back and asked to borrow my calculator. Of cos, i said yes. Hah. That's me la. And well. I don't know who she was. LOL. But yeah, i had 'faith' that she would return it to me. She did. After school. Haha. Man!! When she returned it, peiqi and all asked me,"Who is she?" I answered,"Don't know." HAHA. True whaaat.

Hmmmm. Short one for now. =D

Wassssup?

One more day til the weekend. I can't waittt! Haha.

Alright i'm gonna complain like a little kid now. =]
Bruises. Bruises. Bruises. I have many of them now. Cos..... of my table. Well, not my table, but the table i use during exam. Haha. Yeah well. It's darn short. So, everytime i even cross my legs, BANG! one bruise. I try to sleep, BANG! another bruise. I move a little, BOOOOM! a bruise. HAHA. What? It's true. Even my KNEES are all full of red marks and well bruises. HAHAH. Peiqi asked me to change my table, but what for? Exams are ending. Just have to tahan. xD

Erm nothing much been going on. Just the normal. Hah.
Sooo. I've decided what i wanna talk about for my BM lisan. HAHA. I tried it out on vivian today. She was laughing like mad when i told her. Sandra even gave me ideas how to make it more interesting. LOL. My topic: Kenapa saya benci KUCING. haha. Yup 'why i hate cats'. I have a loooong story why. So, i'm just gonna talk. Should be interesting to see teacher's reaction. And i can talk about FAT CAT who's still in our class. Ish.

Today, someone asked me. The question i detest answering. "What do you wanna be?" As usual, i gave the same lame answer,"Well, i plan to work after SPM and marry a rich man.*grins*" And as usual, i got a 'be-serious' look. Haha. I really don't know. You think i PLANNED what i'm gonna do ALREADY? I tell the adults that i just wanna get through PMR first. Hah. So, never ask me that question. Cos i'll just tell you a looooong story about how i'm gonna get a rich husband and stay in a huge house with many maids and eat and sleep everyday. Yup. And that's what i answered when a teacher asked me. HAHA.

Is it just me or were some of the sivik questions repeated??
ta-dah.

Oh well.

Haish. I was shocked to receive the sms yesterday saying that she left already. Yeah. I somehow found out she had her farewell. Without any of us. Except maybe ..... Sigh. I didn't even get to say goodbye. We have had sooo many good times together. All the things/secrets we shared. Oh i dunno!!

I suddenly have the urge to call someone. Hmm. The feeling will go. Haha.

Haiyoh i hope the darn FAT CAT will just disappear la. Kacau aje. So, beside me is pharathiny and behind, vivian. Both are scared of the cat. Go figure. At least phara just screams quietly and jumps from her seat. Vivian, man, she pulled my chair and my shoulder[well anything she can grab la]Haish! No peace. Haha. When i asked them why they're so scared of the cat, the answers i got were err rubbish. Haha. No offense people. It's just a cat!! No big deal.

Seni and sivik tomorrow. HAHA. I'm sure there're people studying for BOTH seni and sivik. I can't study seni cos my notebook is with peiqi[like i even planned to study that]Sivik, i'll probably just flip through. LOL. The worst is friday. We go to school from 7-12.30, to sit for ONE MISERABLE PAPER. If it's KH or Maths1 or SOMETHING then oklar. But, our paper is PJK. Goodness. And it starts at 11.10. =.="

Alright. Going for early dinner. VERY early. Haha.

Out.

Goodbye

She left.
She's gone.
She went far far away.
She didn't even say goodbye.
I've been a horrible friend.
Lost contact with her eventhough i knew she was going.
She had changed. Drastically. that's no reason to forget her.
All those plans we had.
All these memories we have.
It's no wonder she didn't even tell me she's going.
I'm sorry.
I miss her already. =/

"I don't have friends, only acquaintances."

Hmm. Are YOU like that?

Anyway. Yeah. In the midst of midyear. Don't know whether it's just me, but the papers are actually tough. Haha. Dunno lar. I hope sejarah and geo would be okay. REEEEAALLY hope. It seems it would be hard?? I did some sejarah workbook thing, and yeah i could answer!! Haha. But those were so direct. Tomorrow's paper's gonna be not-so-direct. Ah well. =]

Sandwiched between two sick people. Khaiwern and vivian. Vivian's sicker[and she sits behind me]Haha. Hopefully i don't get sick too. This exam feels different. Why ar?? I dunno.

I want the exams to be OVER soon. But i don't want it to end so fast. Haha. Aiyo dunno lar. Can;t wait for the holsssss.

ARGH. I'M GOING TO PENANG THIS SATURDAY FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!! grrrr.
My parents dragging me along. They have some camp. I'm sure NO ONE[my age i mean]is going. Sigh. They want me to stay in the room and STUDY... ?!!! I'll probably lepak around the place with a book in my hand. xD

Geez. Lunch with the inlaws later. Hmm. Why am i going again? Haih. They INSISTED that i go. Goshh. Oh well. Maybe i'll be able to watch some drama? Who knows. I didn't know there were so many problems here. I didn't know my family's .... never mind. =/ what does all this mean?

Anyway. Missing 3rd service again. GOSH. I have not gone for youth or 3rd for like, 3weeks[counting next week]last week cos, parents in KL, this week, THIS, and NO 3RD OR YOUTH NEXT WEEK. Typical. I really DO miss it. sob sob.

Have been listening to Nickelback and lifehouse lately. Haha. All the older songs. 'Photograph' by nickelback came out 3years ago. When i was in Standard 6. It reminds me of primary school. sighhh.

I don't feel ready for tomorrow. And the days to come. How frustrating.

Hmmm.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MUMMY...

Relief. for now.

Ahh. Exam. Finally. Over. =D I was darn nervous. Cos i didn't know WHAT was coming out. I mean, instruments is a very wide topic you know. But, i guess all my studying didn't go to waste. I knew how to answer the questions. HAHA. I hope my transposition and harmonies are okay. Came out of the exam room after 2 hours. HAHAHA. Couldn't stand sitting there any longer. Especially since i was sitting in between two grade8s, who seem to be soooo engrossed in their paper, it scared me. Haha. Oh well. It's over.

This weekend's gonna be noisy. Haih. The circus is coming to town. Have to tidy up my room and study room[ahgor's room] later. AIYO.

Hmm. Haven't posted about what's been happening in school. Haha. Let's see. Yesterday. Literature. Ahhh. Haha. Chuiyee and mayyian was absent so no one did chapter22. So i did it. Why? I have no idea. Was totally unprepared. But since ceazaan and i were doing chapter23, i just tembak ni lar. CHAPTER23 - HONOUR COMES BEFORE LOVE. Haha. Right. From the title, it's sooo obvious theres a lovey dovey scene. Well well. We did it. Ceazaan and i succeeded. We didn't laugh though the WHOLE CLASS was laughing like mad. Of cos la. It was dumb. Especially since we had NO PROPS and had to use a plastic bag as a cap[for ME], the brooms as our horses and books for my supper. LOL.

Dum-da-dum.

Out.

So. In about 15 hours, i'll be sitting in that hall, staring at my exam paper and try to remember all i've studied. 3 hours later, it'll all be over. All my hardwork and sweat will be hopefully worth it. I wish the day would never come. But that would only be wistful thinking. I can't wait for all this misery to end. If only the world was fair. If only it was just. Then all would be well. I would actually feel OKAY about all this misery. Geez. Who am i kidding? since when is it ever fair?

I told my mum that i would probably finish my paper tomorrow in about 2hours. Then told her that i would bring a book to study[LOL] while waiting for them to come pick me up. [the paper's 3hours]And, i got scolded for that. Haha. She told me NOT to do that. She even asked me NOT to study anymore music today. Well, she told me to relax today and not study at all. =D

Yeah yeah. I've been stressing about my THEORY EXAM. Ask anyone. Hehe. They would be holding a sejarah textbook, i would be holding my notes. And when they ask each other questions, i would just confuse them by answering stupidly. HAHA.

Ahh. I've got another reason to stress. We can ALL stress together. Mid year is on monday people! BM2 and Math2! We have 23chapters of Sejarah, 37chapters of Geography and 21chapters of Science. So, we have 81 CHAPTERS to study. And i haven't included KH, literature, sastera, maths, the 23[erm not sure how many la.til bidang 4 lar.]moral definisis...... sivik, PJK, seni[only the 'rajin' will study those] Hehe. Am i freaking you out?*grins*HAHA. It's a lot. And we don't have much time left *tick tock tick tock*

LOL. Alright. I'm out.

Sigh. Yeah yeah. I'm supposed to NOT online. But i can't take it anymore!!!

It's NOT NOT NOT easy staring at my freaking notes and trying to remember all the differents ranges, the different transposing and nontransposing instruments AND how to transpose and all that crap. ARGHHHH. Theory exam's in less than 48 hours. SIGH. How la how la how la. If that paper was FREE OF CHARGE, i wouldn't be like this. I would just give it my best shot. But, knowing that my parents paid a HUGE amount for a piece of paper..... It's a horrible feeling. They did not pay that much for me to just throw my pencil down and CRY during the exam right??

Whats worse. Mid year's next monday. How 'awesome'. I'm far from ready. At this point, i'll be surprise if i PASS. okay i'm exaggerating. STILL. Time to get serious with studies. Which is more important? Music or school? If i concentrate too much on theory, i may neglect my studies and well, have not enough time to complete everything.

Why do they have to put geo and sejarah on the same day?!!! Crazy ar?! *takes deeeeeep breath* I need to get my mind off all of this. I need to..... chill. Relax. ARGH. How can i?!!!!

I want a new obsession. I kinda found a 'candidate' for my new obsession[not exactly new...]see how la. I feel like giving up on geo. I REAAAALLY want to. The fact that i don't have the time, and that i really don't like it makes me wanna ......... Hmmm. I can't, can i?

Someone help me!!

The things i wanna do now:
1. Go for a walk.
2. Spend time with people i haven't been spending time with.=P
3. Shop for MYSELF.
4. Laugh out loud.
5. Go crazy over a certain obsession.
6. Eat.

The things i HAVE to do:
1. Study for midyear
2. Study for theory exam[which is in LESS THAN WEEK. *freaks out*]
3. Finish up my seni folio
4. Ignore all i WANT to do....
5. Cut my fingernails. LOL.

So, what SHOULD i do?
Do all i have to do.......sighhh

RANDOM PICS.[real random] [edited]

Ermmm. Don't ask. Kim's and my table. I think that's peiqi or nyit's hand up there. Haha.

I got BOO-ed and kicked out of the playing area for taking this pic. =.=

All busy at work......

LCM[Chumei]: Blah blah blah......

Peiqi: Boss tired? *starts massaging*

Meiping: HAHA!! I got the balllll!!

Meityng: HAIYOH.

Me: Alright people. Act busy. I wanna take pic for the report.

Tisha: Can can!! No problem!!!

3Hornbill's definition of cleaning up. F-U-N!! HAHA.

The clean padang. Oh, and JeeCheng. Our 'fearless' AJK kebersihan. xD

Haha. Nice pics huh? LOL. That was our sivik project. Oh!! We got the PAMERAN PALING POPULAR prize. Go HORNBILL!! Haha.

Yay! I finished the darn geo folio ad. Well, til where we're supposed to finish la. GOOD. Now can concentrate on other stuff. Oh yeah, still have some sivik homework to do. Hmm.

Gotta S-T-O-P.

Right now, i kinda hate myself. Haha. Why? Two reasons. One. I always think nonsense. And, last week and this week[today]the 'nonsense' came true. ARGH! It's not as drastic as what i thought, but still. It happened. Aku benci. Hmm. Probably no one understands what i'm trying to say. Oh well. Number two. HAH. I said something i shouldnt have today. ARGHHHHH! Kim knows what i'm talking about. Haishhh. Feeling bad bad bad. So tell me? How not to hate? I'm angry. More at myself than anyone else. Too bad for me.

I wish i could say sorry. But everybody would just tell me it's not my fault. So. Haih.

I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know
I can't take it back.....

I'm out.